Why Leftys Are Inferior Beings

So Emily's left-handed, a fact which Anne and I find hilarious. Why is the simple question of hand dominance hilarious, you ask? Well, there are so many things in the world that they complain about and don't need to.

For example: left-handed scissors. Right-handed people can't use left-handed scissors, but leftys can use right-handed scissors. My question: then why the hell do they even make left-handed scissors? Let's exclude more than seventy percent of the population by being hand-ist against the majority. Right. Makes sense.

Also, if Emily is sitting on my right side at lunch or dinner, her elbow keeps knocking into me when she eats. So we make her sit on the far left end of the table. And she has to turn her paper sideways to write, which doesn't make any sense no matter how you think about it... so we've decided that she's naturally inferior, and therefore all leftys must be inferior.

No one else in her family is left-handed, so the joke is that she's adopted. Anne and I keep telling her that no one loves her. LOL.