Monday, November 30, 2009

My Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard

After Emily, Anne, Aliena and I got back from break yesterday, we were all pretty hungry so we went to Powell to grab something to eat. Problem: Powell was closed for break. (Who's dumb idea was THAT?) So we piled into Emi's car and headed off to Steak'n'Shake. Mmmm.

Our waiter's name was Miles (incidentally, I had a friend named Miles in elementary school, but it's not the same guy...) and he was one of the MOST ANNOYING PEOPLE I HAVE EVER MET.

When he brought us our drinks he narrated everything he did. "Oh, I have a water here, I'm gonna set that right there for you, I've got a water here for you, oh, here's a lemonade for you, I'm gonna put that right there, and I have one more water here for you, I'll just set that right there."

I am NOT kidding.

Well after a while I realized that he was being... awkward. Like... staring-at-my-chest-area awkward. I was wearing a sweater that I guess is kind of low-cut. Anyway, I had my hair down, so I just draped it over my shoulder to... um... discourage that sort of thing.

Anyway, I'd ordered a white chocolate milkshake - highly recommended, by the way - and drank it all by the time we were done, so I ordered another one to go. He brought it to me, but didn't put it on my ticket... even though they don't give free refills on milkshakes.

So here's the thing. I don't really know whether he did it on purpose or just forgot to add it... but I ended up with a free milkshake. Con: creepy waiter staring... but Pro: free milkshake.

Sorry, Miles, but that whole self-narration thing doesn't really do it for me. But thanks for the milkshake. :)

LOL.

I spent a week home for Thanksgiving last week and just got back yesterday. It was pretty awesome seeing the family and friends and all, but waking up this morning was possibly one of the hardest things I've ever done. (I used to be a morning person. Not so much anymore.)

Anyways, Daddy drove me back to school yesterday, and we were listening to the random CDs I brought with me, one of which happened to be 'oseven', which is a compilation of a whole bunch of Christian rock songs from 2007.

There's one song on there called 'Rise Up' by Disciple, and one called 'Life Again' by Decyfer Down. I was naming the bands as their song came on, and when I said "Decyfer Down," Dad was all like, "I always get them and Disciple mixed up. I keep wanting to call them 'Disciple Down'."

Then he said, "It sounds like Peter walking on water, and then falling, you know? DISCIPLE DOWN! DISCIPLE DOWN! GO, GO, GO!"

Cracked me up. :)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Why Kingdom Animalia Hates Me

I have a theory. (Brace yourselves.)

If you've been following this blog from the beginning (good for you! I heart you) you know that I have issues with small, furry creatures. Namely squirrels who throw acorns at me, deer who run into my daddy's car, and skunks who think it's hilarious to spray in my general direction.

So naturally (being a science major and all) I've compiled a completely relevant theory as to why these creatures hate me.

It's the Disney movies.

I SWEAR! All the Disney movies that had animals in them were, generally speaking, ones I didn't like. The Jungle Book; Bambi; The Fox and the Hound; Robin Hood; Snow White - I hated them. (Well, okay, not 'hated', per se, but they weren't my favorites. I can't stand Snow White's voice, and I don't think I've ever actually seen the Fox and the Hound.)

Conclusion: the animals are getting back at me for dogging on their cartoon counterparts. (Pun fully intended.)

Here's my rationale: I loved Lion King. I loved The Little Mermaid. And you don't see lions or hyenas or crabs or fish coming after me. Just the little woodland creatures.

No, I'm not crazy, and I'm not paranoid. I'm just unloved. :)

Monday, November 16, 2009

Superstitious?

(Yes, the events detailed in this post happened four days ago. I spent all weekend at home with no wireless internet and a hormonal office computer. Gimme a break.)

So in case you didn't know (what are you, stupid?) last Friday was, in fact, Friday the 13th. And since my brother's play was last weekend, I decided I wanted to go home and see him (the play was awesome, for the record, but sadly that's not the point of this post.)

Since I don't have a car here (glares once again at parents :D) Dad picked me up on his way home, and we went to McDonalds to eat dinner, since I hadn't eaten yet.

Friday the 13th Irritation #1: Stupid McDonald's workers messing up orders. (Seriously. When someone asks for a burger PLAIN it usually means WITHOUT pickles, ketchup, mustard, onions, and whatever the hell else they slather on there.)

Then we got out onto the bypass and realized that there was a wreck somewhere WAAAAAY down the road, and traffic was backed up for miles.

Friday the 13th Irritation #2: Taking 45 minutes to get out of town when it should take two. (Is it really that hard to get a cop out there to direct traffic? I mean, really.)

But eventually we made it out of town, and jammed to my random taste in music, which included the Eagles, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Linkin Park, Skillet, et cetera. We were about two hours down the road, taking a shortcut around Cincinnati, when all of a sudden we see a buck (of the deer variety, sadly, and not the cash type) standing in the other lane.

Friday the 13th Irritation #3: Animals too stupid to realize they're fine where they are and insist on jumping IN FRONT OF your car.

I am NOT KIDDING. People say 'I didn't hit a deer, the deer hit me'. They mean it. This buck jumped INTO our lane. Dad slammed on the brakes, I screamed like a little girl, and Bambi landed on our hood, rolled over it, somehow dented the column connecting the windshield and the passenger side window, and yet managed to not snap off the rearview mirror. Then he proceeded to run off into the woods. All that and we're still not sure he died. SIGH.

So we pulled off at a conveniently located BP, talked to a cop, and examined the damage - the hood is all crumpled in, and it's leaking something - I don't actually know what, but it can't be that important since we made it home without further incident.

I make fun of Caitie all the time for being superstitious, but now I'm starting to think she's on to something. (Don't tell her I said that. :D)

Friday, November 6, 2009

My Life as an Abandoned Dormie

It's Friday, the day to party things up, to kick up your feet and relax after a stressful week of classes. I was looking forward to hanging out with the girls, watching a few movies, playing video games, writing some NaNoWriMo, and maybe revising my rhetoric paper somewhere in there.

Scratch that.

Anne AND Emily AND Aliena have all decided that they're going home (or away, in Aliena's case) this weekend. Now, see, normally I wouldn't mind, because I'd just call up my dear old daddy (yes, I'm a daddy's girl, what can I say?) and ask him to swing by and pick me up on his way home.

Except Anne didn't inform me about her intention of going home until, oh, about an hour ago.

JERK.

See, I knew Emily and Aliena weren't going to be here, but that's happened before, so I figured Anne and I would just chill in her room and play Kingdom Hearts all weekend. But then ANNE decided she was going home, too. And where does that leave me? Oh, yeah. ALONE.

-sniffs in false despair-

(Actually, I don't mind that much. I like having time just to be alone sometimes.)

So I've stocked up on generic soda and pretzels and string cheese, and Anne left me her room keys so I can get to the PS2, so it's gonna be a one-woman party down here in Sullivan Annex. Be jealous, jerks. Be jealous.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Message

This is going to be a long post, but please stick with it. It's important.

I went to Rhetoric class today and heard some people talking about there being a street evangelist in Powell plaza yesterday. Apparently he told some people that they were going to go to hell for wearing blue jeans and dyeing their hair red. He told a deaf student that being deaf is a sin. (Like he can CONTROL that.) The students that were talking about it said that the evangelist and his group were coming back today.

It was strange for me because a few weeks ago I was back in my hometown and I taught at youth group about exactly this kind of situation, and how to handle it. But I'd never actually seen anyone like this in real life, never actually been there for it. For all my talk, I kind of realized I wasn't really equipped to talk to this guy. So I texted Andrew, my youth director back home. (Thanks, Andrew, you're the best.) He gave me some awesome ideas, and Emily and I decided that we wanted to go down and actually listen and see what this guy was about.

I was kind of nervous, and didn't eat much at lunch, because I knew I wanted to speak to this man. So we went down after lunch and just listened for a while. There were three men there, but only one was talking. The other two were just kind of standing there. And there was a little kid with them, maybe seven or eight years old. (It was weird for me, because he looked exactly like my cousin Grant when he was that age.) They'd attracted kind of a crowd - I want to say maybe thirty people. When we got there the preacher had just been asked - if you take the Bible so literally, how can you wear 'mixed fibers' or eat food that isn't kosher? He responded by saying that those laws were only set down for the Israelites, and that we don't need to follow them now, that we only need to follow God's moral law.

I admit, I don't know whether that's true or not, but whatever.

I was curious, so I just asked him what he considered to be the moral law. He pulled out his Bible and read from the New Testament. (Which is good, I guess, because a lot of the Old Testament was refuted in the New Testament, and I was going to be really irritated if he started preaching from the Old.) He quoted 1 Corinthians 6:9-10. 'Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.' (That's what my version has it as; his translation was a little more formal.) He then went on to say that those people - the 'fornicators', as he called them, were going to hell.

I pointed out that Jesus told us to love everyone, regardless of whether or not they were 'fornicators'. He agreed with me (sort of). I was having a hard time getting a word in edgewise, but I did my best - I said "Then shouldn't the message we're preaching be one of love? That God loves these people and wants to be closer to them? Not that they're going to hell?"

He told me that the truth was a hard one, and that it wasn't his fault that people didn't like what he was saying. I am not even exaggerating. He said, "If people don't like my message, that isn't my fault." I asked him how he could justify that if his mission was to save people. He told me that he didn't judge his preaching by how many he saved, but by whether or not what he was saying was 'glorifying to God'.

I wanted to tell him that it sounded like he was only glorifying himself, but I figured that would be an attack on him personally. So I told him I respected what he was doing, and that he had the courage to stand in front of everyone and speak from his heart, but that I couldn't respect a message that was about hate. I said that the message of Christ should be preached in such a way as to draw people in, not to push them away.

The sad thing was, I know I didn't change his mind at all. He quoted some verse from one of the Gospels where Jesus talks about the world hating him for the message he preached. And then he just went on talking. Someone asked him if he ever sinned, and he said no. It's that kind of thing that just irritates me. Because NO ONE is perfect, except for Christ. Yeah, we're supposed to try to be like him, but we CANNOT be without sin.

I wasn't the only one there that was talking back to him, but I was definitely the only one keeping my cool. After a while Emily pointed out that there were students standing around with sandwich boards. We were kind of worried at first, because the first one we saw was a girl, and on the back of her sandwich board it said "God took my mother and my best friend, and I despise him." But when she turned around, it said "Yet I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me." I was sick of listening to the preacher, so I went over and talked to one of the sandwich board guys.

I said, "I just want to thank you for what you guys are doing. People need to see this side of the message."

He smiled, and he was like, "Yeah, we'd been planning this for weeks, and then this guy shows up... but one of our guys had a feeling, like God spoke to him, and told him that something would happen on Tuesday that would strengthen our message. And then he showed up."

I was completely taken aback. I mean, how cool is that? Almost like God sent this evangelist to give the sandwich board people something to refute.

I thanked him again, and left, and came back to my dorm so I could write this, but my hands were shaking so bad (because I was angry) that I couldn't type, so I got up and started punching my mattress (because that's just what I do) and accidentally slipped and hit the bedframe and busted open one of my knuckles. (Oops.)

Then Emily came back (she'd stayed to listen a little longer) and told me that he'd said that Jesus never tempts us beyond something we can handle. (Which is a good point.) But Emily asked him a hypothetical question. If you were living in a third-world country in extreme poverty, with no legitimate or legal way to feed your family, and you chose to steal, would you still go to hell? And get this: he said YES. Un-frickin-believable. He said he'd pray to God to help his family, and then if he got no answer, then he would accept that God meant for them to die of starvation, and let them die.

That isn't the way to help people. That isn't what God wants us to do. God loves everyone, and he wants us to love everyone, because it is through the grace of God that we are saved, and not through anything we can do. We are ALL sinners. There is no way for us to live completely without sin, because we're only human, and God knows that, and accepts us for who we are. THAT'S what we should be telling people. THAT'S the truth.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Viva La Vie Boheme!

So Anne, Emily, Aliena and I went to see Rent yesterday in Cincinnati. It was the national tour of this year's Broadway production, so I was pretty psyched to see some top-notch acting. Not to mention that I am a complete and total Rent geekazoid. I'm pretty sure I can sing the entire soundtrack. And I am COMPETELY IN LOVE with Roger. -sighs-

But anyway, when we got there we saw the poster advertising it, and it said:

Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp in RENT!

OH. MY. GOD.
For those of you who aren't complete and total nerds like me (which I'm assuming is most of you, excluding Caitie and Mom), Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp played the original Roger and Mark when Rent debuted in 1996. They practically CREATED those roles. And Adam Pascal is FRIGGIN GORGEOUS.

Needless to say, I screamed like a little girl. And bought a Playbill signed by the entire cast. Yes, I am a shameless fangirl. -squeals-