For some reason, Anne seems to find my anger hilarious.
Really. Whenever I start up a rant, she just stares at me and laughs. Take today, for example, as we were walking to our physics class. The stupid weather here in the friggin Ohio Valley couldn't make up its mind as to rather it was going to rain or snow. The result? Gross, heavy snow that didn't stick to the ground, got all over everything, and just generally made my life miserable.
Me: THIS SUCKS.
Anne: It could be worse. It could be raining.
Me: It IS raining!
Anne: No, it's snowing.
Me: No, it's friggin... I don't know, snow-raining! It's SNAINING!
Anne: -cracks up laughing-
Of course, her laughter only makes me rage more at the snow-rain-snain-crap.
Me: It can't even be pretty, fluffy snow that at least gives you something to look at. No, you know what? That cloud up there, he decided, hey, I really want to screw up somebody's day. I know! Let's piss snain all over Richmond! Heck yes! Because heaven forbid I be able to, you know, SEE through this crap. Or feel dry after walking into a building. Or keep my baby dry.
(My baby would be my MacBook.)
Seriously though. Snain. It sucks. Tell your friends.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Why Sharing Is Not Actually A Good Thing
Your parents have lied to you.
Sharing is not good. Sharing is, in fact, very bad and occasionally hazardous to your health. Example: no one wants your cold. Please don't share it. I know you might have been told that good siblings share (unless you're an only child - then who cares, right?) but DON'T DO IT.
That said, if you're going to share something, do it COMPLETELY. The hangout here in Sullivan is Anne and Emily's room. It's a font of sharing joy. Dorm furniture, Emily's chairs, Anne's TV and PS2, my Guitar Hero and other video games. Emily's fridge, my soda and coffee, and Anne's Doritos. They're group property (generally speaking).
Problem: while I may share their space, I don't actually share their key. Therefore, if they're gone and I need something out of their room? Forget it.
Add this to my general laziness and reluctance to move all of my crap out of there and... yeah. Recipe for disaster. Which is why this morning when I went to find shoes... the only pairs I had in my room were flip-flops and open-toe heels. Not exactly useful for walking around in rainy, cold Kentucky weather.
Rather than skip class (although I wanted to - see Mom? I'm a good kid) I headed on over to Anne and Emily's room to see if it was unlocked. Which it wasn't. But it turns out their door doesn't close all the way, and if they didn't pull it all the way shut before locking it, it doesn't actually lock, and you can get it open by just jiggling the handle.
Then I was all 'oh crap, how am I going to lock it back up now?' But it turned out okay because Anne was actually still in the room, albeit asleep. So I ninja'd my way in, stole back my nice warm winter boots, and snuck back out. And I'm pretty sure she didn't notice, because I'm just cool like that.
Anyway, the moral of the story is: be a selfish jerk. Keep your crap to yourself. Sharing is bad. And hey, while we're at it? Santa isn't real. The cake is a lie. And hitting is good. Kthxbai.
Sharing is not good. Sharing is, in fact, very bad and occasionally hazardous to your health. Example: no one wants your cold. Please don't share it. I know you might have been told that good siblings share (unless you're an only child - then who cares, right?) but DON'T DO IT.
That said, if you're going to share something, do it COMPLETELY. The hangout here in Sullivan is Anne and Emily's room. It's a font of sharing joy. Dorm furniture, Emily's chairs, Anne's TV and PS2, my Guitar Hero and other video games. Emily's fridge, my soda and coffee, and Anne's Doritos. They're group property (generally speaking).
Problem: while I may share their space, I don't actually share their key. Therefore, if they're gone and I need something out of their room? Forget it.
Add this to my general laziness and reluctance to move all of my crap out of there and... yeah. Recipe for disaster. Which is why this morning when I went to find shoes... the only pairs I had in my room were flip-flops and open-toe heels. Not exactly useful for walking around in rainy, cold Kentucky weather.
Rather than skip class (although I wanted to - see Mom? I'm a good kid) I headed on over to Anne and Emily's room to see if it was unlocked. Which it wasn't. But it turns out their door doesn't close all the way, and if they didn't pull it all the way shut before locking it, it doesn't actually lock, and you can get it open by just jiggling the handle.
Then I was all 'oh crap, how am I going to lock it back up now?' But it turned out okay because Anne was actually still in the room, albeit asleep. So I ninja'd my way in, stole back my nice warm winter boots, and snuck back out. And I'm pretty sure she didn't notice, because I'm just cool like that.
Anyway, the moral of the story is: be a selfish jerk. Keep your crap to yourself. Sharing is bad. And hey, while we're at it? Santa isn't real. The cake is a lie. And hitting is good. Kthxbai.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Back In The Swing
It's a good thing this blog isn't required to sustain life, because I think a lot of people would be dead, having not had their fix for almost two whole months.
My bad.
Anyway, this weekend is momentous. (Well, maybe not momentous, but just go with it.) It marks my first blog post in two months, the first weekend of the spring 2011 semester... and also my last weekend as a person with spare time.
That's right, as of last Thursday, I'm officially playing a lead in our campus' production of Sweeney Todd. Not THE lead, unfortunately, I did really want to play Mrs. Lovett... but the beggar woman will be awesome, and I realized that it's actually a huge acting part. But our production is in approximately six weeks, and anyone who knows theatre will tell you - that's pretty much NO TIME AT ALL.
Our rehearsals start Monday, and so I'm enjoying my last tidbits of freedom by chowing microwaveable mac'n'cheese, playing Guitar Hero, and watching Emily fail miserably at playing video games. (Side note: white cheddar mac'n'cheese is not as yummy as regular. Just sayin'.)
Also, I actually put up a calendar. Yes. You read that absolutely correctly. An actual calendar, with actual dates of rehearsals on it, because I actually feel like being organized. Please hold your applause. I'm sure I'll get plenty of it opening night.
(I'm not conceited at all.) :D
My bad.
Anyway, this weekend is momentous. (Well, maybe not momentous, but just go with it.) It marks my first blog post in two months, the first weekend of the spring 2011 semester... and also my last weekend as a person with spare time.
That's right, as of last Thursday, I'm officially playing a lead in our campus' production of Sweeney Todd. Not THE lead, unfortunately, I did really want to play Mrs. Lovett... but the beggar woman will be awesome, and I realized that it's actually a huge acting part. But our production is in approximately six weeks, and anyone who knows theatre will tell you - that's pretty much NO TIME AT ALL.
Our rehearsals start Monday, and so I'm enjoying my last tidbits of freedom by chowing microwaveable mac'n'cheese, playing Guitar Hero, and watching Emily fail miserably at playing video games. (Side note: white cheddar mac'n'cheese is not as yummy as regular. Just sayin'.)
Also, I actually put up a calendar. Yes. You read that absolutely correctly. An actual calendar, with actual dates of rehearsals on it, because I actually feel like being organized. Please hold your applause. I'm sure I'll get plenty of it opening night.
(I'm not conceited at all.) :D
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