WHAT?

So just now (i.e. 1 in the morning) Emily, Aliena and I were sitting in Em's room watching Australia (great movie) and Em and Aliena were eating grapes. Aliena mentioned going grocery shopping with her dad, and they'd taste a few grapes before buying the bag, you know? And then she was talking about how they'd get those fresh-made donuts and eat them while shopping, and just keep the empty bag for checkout. Which isn't stealing, we agreed, because you're paying for them anyway, duh.

So I brought up this story about how my brother and I used to go to Marsh after school on half-days or the last day before a break and get breadsticks, which is awesome because Marsh breadsticks are only 39 cents each, and they're HUGE. You buy them at the little bakery, eat them right there, and then you can go scan the sticker at the checkout aisle.

When I finished the story I realized they were both staring at me with very confused looks, and I was like 'what?' In perfect unison, they went, 'Marsh?'

They've never heard of it. This is insane. How can someone not know about Marsh? I mean, it's just like Kroger or Walmart. It's not even just a local thing, there are Marshes everywhere! Really!

Conclusion: These southern bumpkins are deprived.

No Day But Today?

Today has been a very, very strange day.

This morning I woke up early (craziness, I know) to go down to the card office and get my meal plan fixed. Then I had some time to kill before class, so I went to Starbucks and got coffee. (Strange, because if you know me at all, you know that I don't like coffee. But this stuff was GOOD.) Then my health teacher let us out after five minutes of class because she couldn't get the projector to work. -giggles-

Now, all these things seem pretty good, and normal, until this next part.

At lunch, I was randomly hit in the face with a melon rind.

It wasn't even like I saw it coming, or that somebody had a very good reason to hit me with a melon rind. See, if I had been like, "The day THAT happens is the day I get hit in the face with a melon rind (because I would TOTALLY say that... um...)", then I could understand. But no. I was minding my own business, talking to Dave across the table, when WHACK, a melon rind hits me in the face. Turns out Emily was trying to hit Anne, and forgot my HEAD was in the way.

Then later, Emily, Aliena and I (not Anne, who is home for Valentine's Day weekend... apparently people like to hang out with their significant others around this time of year, not that I would know) were going to Emily's car for a Walmart/Blockbuster trip, and something hit me in the head. At first I was like, 'is it raining?' and then I realized that we had just walked under a tree full of birds.

Yeah. A bird pooped on my head. I am not even lying. I thought it only happened in movies, but apparently not.

I feel so violated. I was like, 'AAAAAHHHH!' and proceeded to have a freak-out right there in the parking lot. Needless to say, SHAMPOO. LOTS OF IT.

Theoretically, this day can't get any stranger. I say this, of course, fully expecting to be abducted by aliens or something equally random. Who knows? There are still three hours left in the day...

Cake = LIE.

Today, I must mourn the passing of a dear and cherished friend.

His name was Yum-yum, and he was the most wonderful, delicious friend any cake-lover could ever have. (No offense, Daddy, you make great cakes, but this was AMAZING.) Yes, it's clear dear Yum-yum was a divine gift, sent from God to make my day brighter.

He was a yellow cake, with white frosting and sprinkles - the multi-colored kind, mind you. And he was the moist-est (is that a word?), yummiest cake ever. But alas, as my friends and I made the trek back to Sullivan, I was forced to end dear Yum-yum's life, because what cake could ever exist without being eaten? Let it be known, however, that his death was short and painless - I finished eating him in only six bites, then sang 'Taps' as I committed his plastic cup to the trash can. -sniffle-

In memory of his life, I have composed this - the 'Ode to Cake.' (Sung, of course, to the tune of Beethoven's 9th.)

'Yum-yum, Yum-yum, I adore thee,

Cake of sugar, cake of love,

Cookies are but naught before thee,

Bowing to your might above.

Melt the healthy foods of sadness,

Drive the grains and fruit away,

Giver of delicious gladness,

Please come back another day!'

-cries- Oh, Yum-yum. I'll miss you.