Vespula Flavopilosa

(That's the official Latin name for yellow jackets. AKA the spawn of Satan.)


I. HATE. BEES. In fact, I'm pretty much INSANELY APIPHOBIC. (Any of my family members or close friends can vouch for this.) Flies? Beetles? Ladybugs? Don't bother me. Spiders? I actually considered getting a pet tarantula for a while, until Mom's reaction was 'NO WAY IN HELL.' But bees? Forget it. I freak out. Sometimes I even go into full-on panic mode. When I was a kid, I distinctly remember running around my backyard in zig-zag patterns because I was CONVINCED a carpenter bee was following me.

Let's clarify this a little. I'm not allergic to bees. I've been stung a couple times, and it doesn't really hurt beyond being annoying. That said, there should be NO GOOD REASON why I'm pee-your-pants terrified of the little guys. Not that that matters with the whole phobia thing.

The reason I'm telling you this? At approximately 9:45 this morning, about fifteen minutes after I woke up, I heard a buzzing noise and turned around to see a BIG UGLY WASP flying around my room.

Cue panic attack.

I flipped out entirely, ran to the opposite end of the room, waited for it to fly to my side of the room, and then made a mad dash for the door, fully intending to run into Anne and Emily's room screaming 'MAKE IT GO AWAY!'

Problem: they weren't there, and the door was locked.

I figured my options were these: 1) run back in, open the window, and PRAY TO GOD that it flies away; 2) run screaming into David and Zack's room instead, 3) chase it around madly with a flyswatter and hope it doesn't sting me or 4) hide out in the bathroom and wait for Emily, Anne, or Aliena to come rescue me.

Options 1 and 3 were immediately discarded, because I couldn't force myself to go back in there. (Yes, I am a big chicken. SHUT UP.) Option 2 was... well, shaky at best, seeing as which I was still in my PJs, and not exactly dressed for seeking out the help of XY-chromosomes.

So I texted Emily and Caitie (Caitie understood completely, being a total arachnophobe, whereas Emily and Anne proceeded to laugh and tell the whole story to their Civilization class) and ran into the bathroom, where I proceeded to hide until an hour later when Anne and Aliena finally came back.

And that's not even the best part. I made them go into the room first. They discovered the wasp in question perched innocently on the blinds, and proceeded to inform me that...

Oh yeah. It wasn't even a wasp.

It WAS, in fact, a black-and-yellow beetle of some sort, that was roughly the same shape as a wasp, and could POSSIBLY be mistaken for a wasp if someone with an irrational paranoia of the damn things saw it flying around.

It's funny in hindsight, but at the time I was, needless to say, exceedingly embarrassed.