Lament of the American Gamer

Fact number one of RPGs (that's Role-Playing Games to you outsiders): Japan makes them better.

I mean, really. Let's think about some of the top-selling video game franchises of all time. Mario? Originated in Japan. (As did everything else Nintendo, including Pokemon and the Legend of Zelda.) Final Fantasy, to name my personal favorite, has been around since 1987 (that's ANCIENT in video game terms, my friends), created 13 mainstream games, at least 10 spin-offs including two full-length 100% computer-animated MOVIES, and sold over 96 MILLION games to date.

Of course, with all these games originating in Japan, it takes a good six months to a year for the game to come out in America after it's already surfaced in Japan. This leads to spoilers, leaked cutscenes, crappy fan-dubs and know-it-alls who post EVERYTHING on the Internet. Basically, once it comes out in Japan, it's fair game for anybody with a pocket translator.

Now, for purist die-hards like myself, the Internet becomes ANATHEMA during this period of overlap. The particular example that's bugging me currently? Oh, just guess. Yes, it's Kingdom Hearts.

Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep is the fifth installment in the Kingdom Hearts series, or sixth if you count the remake of Chain of Memories (which I generally don't.) It released in Japan on January 9th, and isn't scheduled to come out in America until... um... 'summer 2010,' it says. (Which, knowing them, means something like October. Really.) And I legitimately DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. Not until I play it myself. I ruined the Kingdom Hearts II experience for myself by looking up spoilers.

This would be all hunky-dory, except Anne, who has no such restraint, has been looking up the entire story on Wikipedia, watching all of the cutscenes on YouTube, and now knows the entire story. The worst part? She was sitting there watching the scenes WHILE I WAS IN THE ROOM. Granted, I don't understand any of it, since I can only listen, but I can still see her facial expressions, and she was TOTALLY FREAKING OUT today. I can't ask, because I for serious don't want to know... but then again, I do...

This is so hard! Curse you, Japan-based video game corporations!