Foot Fetish?

I have really, really gross feet.

Really. You have no idea. All the perfumes of Arabia could not sweeten these little feet. It's like they're a breeding ground for calluses (calli?) and blisters and fungus and just general GROSSNESS.

Maybe it's because I'm a soccer player. Maybe it's because I wear flip-flops and high heels and shoes that are bad for my feet. Maybe it's because I wear shower shoes and can't easily wash them. I don't know. They're gross. There's no escaping it.

Over the summer my mom dragged me to a spa and we got pedicures, and we had to apologize to the poor woman who had to practically hacksaw the nasty calluses off my feet. She made them all nice and pretty and within a week they were gross again. It's my curse. I just have gross feet. I will never, ever be able to marry anyone with a foot fetish because they'll HATE me. I'll have to run away and join a convent because no one will ever love me again (which is bad, because I'm not Catholic - not to mention I wouldn't look good in a habit) and I'll take a vow of silence and refuse to talk to anyone ever again because my feet are THAT GROSS.

This morning I got back from my ungodly-early chemistry lab and took off my shoes and woke up my poor roommate because I was 'ewwwing' over the nasty blisters forming on my heels. Then I popped one just for fun and discovered that there was ANOTHER blister under it - right where my flip-flops rub.

I almost took a picture to post it for proof, but I'll spare you your eyes. (And gag reflexes.)

Guess who's NOT wearing flip-flops today? :)