Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Why Kingdom Animalia Hates Me

I have a theory. (Brace yourselves.)

If you've been following this blog from the beginning (good for you! I heart you) you know that I have issues with small, furry creatures. Namely squirrels who throw acorns at me, deer who run into my daddy's car, and skunks who think it's hilarious to spray in my general direction.

So naturally (being a science major and all) I've compiled a completely relevant theory as to why these creatures hate me.

It's the Disney movies.

I SWEAR! All the Disney movies that had animals in them were, generally speaking, ones I didn't like. The Jungle Book; Bambi; The Fox and the Hound; Robin Hood; Snow White - I hated them. (Well, okay, not 'hated', per se, but they weren't my favorites. I can't stand Snow White's voice, and I don't think I've ever actually seen the Fox and the Hound.)

Conclusion: the animals are getting back at me for dogging on their cartoon counterparts. (Pun fully intended.)

Here's my rationale: I loved Lion King. I loved The Little Mermaid. And you don't see lions or hyenas or crabs or fish coming after me. Just the little woodland creatures.

No, I'm not crazy, and I'm not paranoid. I'm just unloved. :)

2 comments:

  1. Okay, so the Jungle book features bears, which are waaaay bigger than deer. So now that you have a big bullseye on you, you get to look for bears while Dad is driving you home for Thanksgiving next week. Maybe we should play Ted Nugent music (if you don't know why, look it up).

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  2. great. i suppose we should watch out for panthers too, huh?

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